them crypto bros done took mah merkle trees
I have a confession to make. Even though I hate being the center of attention or showing off, I admit that, in my own head, I like showing off to an audience of one. Busting out some elegant, now ancient technique as a possibility to solve a problem when running through a set of possibilities feels nice, even if I immediately dismiss it as impractical.
Merkle trees, which I’ve now decided were cool, past tense, are an example of that. I’ve uttered something about them being a plausible option, out loud, to my teammates, maybe twice over the last couple of decades. Unless you’re doing something distributed and specific, it’s not the sort of computer science you end up reaching for very often. Nevertheless, it felt cool to know a thing.
I was working on something in kutl that seemed like one moment where they might have been the thing. I had to come up with a way for the set of signals across client instances to be synced and I thought of Merkle trees or maybe IBLTs1. And then something weird happened. Instead of being amused by my knowledge of computer nerd arcana, I had that moment not unlike what I imagine happens to teenagers when their parents try to do drugs with them.
My inner dialogue of deadly sins had me contemplating that people who I don’t think are cool now know about a thing I used to think was cool. That’s right, the crypto bros are your lame parents in this metaphor, trying to pass you a joint and saying “I’m hip too, daddy-o.” I know firsthand that there are some serious people™ among the crypto enthusiasts, but most of them, now actually AI bros in all likelihood2, are clueless, money-chasing, MBA-toting, SF-to-Miami-back-to-SF-dwelling, bandwagon jumpers who I imagine many have come to resent.
It’s not a good look, I know, even if it’s all inside my own head. Why am I briefly resentful that the tourists started taking instagrammable pictures of my favorite dish at the neighborhood restaurant? Why does it taste worse somehow? I’m a flawed human.